Sonnets from the Portugese

Game 79 – Red Sox

Diamondbacks 2, Red Sox 1
Record: 47-32

After a rousing and thoroughly enjoyable meeting of the MLC editorial staff (sans the Mets’ representative, who was too busy jabbing himself in the eye with sharp objects after the first 2 innings of his team’s game last night), I settled in for a quiet evening of, well, of excruciatingly frustrating baseball.

How doth (didth?) the Sox annoy me? Let me count the ways:

1. Dan Haren-induced offensive anemia ran rampant in Fenway last night. The D-Backs’ starter kept the Sox off balance all game long, allowing only 2 hits in 7 innings and piling up ineffective and just plain ugly at-bats like we piled up Guinness at the Dubliner.


2. Kevin Youkilis got hit in the eye by the ball. While warming up the freaking infield. That’s like a bad rec-league softball injury. Not to worry, though, because the Sox have a more than capable backup, except that:


3. Sean Casey (and the team, I suppose) chose last night to begin serving the 3-game suspension he earned during this month’s Sox/Rays donnybrook. Which led to:


4. Brandon Moss making his big league debut at 1st base and fumbling a sharp grounder to allow the D-Backs 2nd and winning run to score. Which, of course, resulted in:


5. The pissing away of a really strong effort by Josh Beckett. Except for the fact:


6. That he walked the immortal Conor Jackson to open the 7th inning, leading to the D-Backs’ only real rally of the game. All of which was capped by a:


7. 5-pitch, 2-minute capitulation against Brandon Lyon in the bottom of the 9th. See #1 above – seems the anemia was contagious.

The Sox have now lost the first game of 5 consecutive series. I’m beginning to lose my sense of humor about that particular item. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.