Wednesday, February 23, 2005

You'd Shut Your Mouth if You Knew What Was Good for You, You Pumpkin-Pie-Haircutted Freak(s)

My favorite movie line ever goes out to my favorite sports franchise this fine morning. There's an old football adage that admonishes players to "act like they've been there before" when they accomplish something of note, lest they tarnish their success. The Sox seem to be taking the opposite tack this spring, falling all over themselves to take potshots at Yankee thirdbaseman and erstwhile karate practitioner Alex Rodriguez.

The Sox' thrilling run to the title should buy them several seasons of national goodwill. The fact that they seem to be actively trying to assume the Yankees' mantle of arrogance and hubris doesn't sit well with this humble blogger, nor will it sit well with a national media and fanbase that's all too eager to point out that the Sox are a financial behemoth that trails only the Yankees in terms of resources. You're the goddamn World Champions, boys - now act like it.

So I caution the Sox, as Thumper's mom said so wisely, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Or, to put it in terms that my courser readers will enjoy, how 'bout you guys grab a steaming cup of shut the fuck up? And yes, I'm talking to you, Trot Nixon, Curt Schilling, and Kevin Millar.

Can't believe that the full squad is in camp this morning, and my first post of the the new season is this one. Please make me eat my words, you bunch of idiots.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005


Boy, does baseball need an enema in the wake of this week's wholly unpleasant Canseco & Giambi show. Baseball's got a steroid problem? Who knew? Well, just about anyone with a functioning set of eyes, and even lots of people who can't see but are capable of perusing braille box scores. 1986-2003 will go down in history as a tainted era, but I really don't see a lot of value in throwing around unprovable allegations about the use of substances that weren't even banned by the game. So let's move on. Hell, we've got the World Champion Boston Red Sox to talk about. (Get used to that phrase. I suspect you'll see it again.)

Move on we will, because today the Washington Nationals open training camp in Viera, FL. Much more to come from my colleague on that topic. I won't give it away, but the Nats coming to town will have a fascinating impact on this space in the coming months.

Sox pitchers and catchers report on Thursday to Fort Myers. A lot of new faces, but a really solid core comes back from the team that won the World Series just 4 short months ago. I'm really excited to see how Bronson Arroyo continues to develop, a bit cautious about how well Schilling and Wade Miller recover, and intrigued about whether the Sox rest on their laurels or try to become legends. Most of me believes that the idiot factor will create another loose, positive clubhouse, and resulting success.

Monday, February 07, 2005

Hub of the Sports Universe

I'm not a Patriots fan, though I am fond of the NFL's newest dynasty. I gave up my Pats' fanclub membership card in 1983 when I moved to Virginia just in time to watch John Riggins go off left tackle for 43 yards to seal the Redskins' first Super Bowl championship. Believe me, that decision - which seemed so well-founded throughout the 80s and 90s - looks more and more ill-advised in today's Snyder-addled reality. After years of ripping bandwagon fanboys (many with shiny new interlocking NY caps), I certainly won't be one, but it is nice to bask in the regional good feelings that continue to wash over my parents' birthplace after the Patriots' 24-21 win over the Eagles. And even better to know that it came at the expense of America's worst city.

I also really enjoyed the following quote about the Patriots from one of their fellow Bostonian ring-wearers: "They're the Yankees of the NFL,'' said Curt Schilling, "but without being greedy bastards.'' Heh.

A week to pitchers and catchers, and less than 2 months to Opening Day. Mmmmm, Opening Day.