Saturday, April 11, 2009

Fisherman's Blues

Game 4 - Mets

Marlins 5, Mets 4

Record: 2-2

You know what's annoying? The Florida Marlins. From their stupid crap stadium to their stupid crap teal uniforms to their stupid crap baseball in south Florida in the summertime. They bother me a lot. Two World Series trophies in their first 11 years? Some say "impressive," I say "annoying." Pay your dues. Wayne Huizenga and his stupid crap Blockbuster money buying guys in '97, then selling them off. His fault? No, he just figured out how to beat the system. Annoying? Yes. Same deal in 2003/05. Ridiculous. Firing Joe Girardi? Stupid. Billy the Marlin? Crap. Jeff Conine? Okay, I like him. So what? Still a stupid crap team. Am I happy they beat the Yankees in 2003? You bet your sweet Jack McKeon-loving ass. They're still bothersome. Pesky. Annoying. They hang around and do nothing except beat the Mets all the time, knocking the Mets out of the playoffs at will after losing to crap teams like the Nationals most of the year. Or this year, making noise early on when they aren't going to do squat except beat the Mets when the Mets need to win. Just bugs me. Their low payroll successes a few years ago? Admirable. Their stupid crap owner, who was involved in one of the s-h-a-d-i-e-s-t wranglings in professional sports? Loser. Threatening to move the team to Vegas (oh, yeah) until Miami-Dade caved, changing the name to Miami Marlins, all that stupid crap. Annoying. That '97 championship team had Luis Castillo, Gary Sheffield, Bobby Bonilla, Moises Alou, Cliff Floyd, Al Leiter, Livan Hernandez and other once or future Mets. And the Marlins seemed to get the best out of the same guys who could never win a title in Queens. Pisses me off. You gave us Mike Piazza? Well, I kind of love you for that. But not really. You were stupid to do it. Oh, and Hanley Ramirez showing every time out that he's so much better than Jose Reyes? Enough already. We get it. Just annoying at this point. So, Marlins pitchers have thrown four no-hitters in their 16+ years. The New York Mets, 47 years and counting: zero no-hitters. The first Marlins no-hitter? May 11 of their stupid crap 64-win inaugural year. Annoying. Who threw it? Yeah, Al Leiter. So irritating. Dan Uggla. Really good. Plays like a Tri-Lam in the All-Star Game when the NL needs him. Homers against the Mets again last night. Thanks, dude. Appreciate it. Your unsung youngsters play hungry and sharp against us. Ours play like scared weenie kids against you. Why? Because you're annoying. Stupid crap cheesy town with your crap 4,000 fans and your stupid pinstripes and did I mention the teal? Who's a Marlin fan? Please stand up. And be recognized as a stupid crap individual. Hey, Marlins, stop winning games like you did last night, last season, the one before that, and on and on. People might think you're good, and you're not. You're a stupid crap expansion (not the good kind) franchise, and you make me annoying when I have to spell it out. And when I do, I have to concede that there are quite a few elements I like about you, and dammit, you really do bug me. Knock it off. Stupid crap.


Nick said...

Stupid crap Marlins. Stupid, stupid crap Marlins. I got nothing else to add about the stupid, stupid, super stupid crap Marlins.

Oh, I hate the Mets. Muck the Fets I say. But at least they are older than me.

Come to think of it, you know, I hate the Rockies too.

Chris Bennett said...

Hey, I am one of the 4,000 Marlins fans out there and I dig your post.

Your post embodies what the Marlins stand for. We are irritating, neglected, unconventional, and yet, successful.

Nice win tonight and we'll see you in Sept and early Oct.