Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Games 17 through 21

(Don't ask me for scores - you have a computer, use it.)

• Phils lose to the Mess
• Phils lose to the Mess
  
• Phils eek out a win over the Mess on Sunday Night Baseball hopefully reinforcing in the mind of the casual fan that the Phils still own the Mess.
  
• Phils come from behind late to beat the Rockies
  
• Phils come from behind late to beat the Rockies again. (No consolation to assuage the humiliation from last year's NLDS sweep.)

Record: yawnnnnnnnnn 11 up, 10 down. Tied with the aforementioned Mess for 2nd.

It's been about five days since I have opined and in that time, not much has changed at all. I think I could conceivably type this line over and over until August which is historically the time this club starts to win more frequently than lose. No matter though, my public demands my artfully crafted insights into the brand of baseball played at the nexus of Pattison and Broad Sts. in lovely South Philly.

Oh, the picture? I am actually using my home laptop to blog today instead of my work machine. Not out of guilt mind you. Pure necessity. Wifey's getting close to go time and she wanted me around today because she might be feeling something. Turns out it was a false alarm but I got to stay home. I keep the goofy Phillies logo on my work PC. I am too lazy to go find it especially since it's pathetic to begin with. OK, I hate to admit it but classic uniforms begin and end with the Yanks and Red Sox home unis. The Mess recent pimping out of their caps to black mar an otherwise sharp look. There is nothing classy or cool about the Phils logo and uniform. I hate uploading that shitty picture every time I post. What you see up there now is a photograph of my most public, of many, humiliations. Last year, my wife guilted me into disco dancing at my daughter's dance recital with other similarly gelded dads. The enormous joy my daughter sensed was countered by my son's profound disappointment. Oh well, he was bound to find out one day.

Wow, that's one hell of a digression.

The 2008 Phils are peculiarly similar to the recent years' editions. They score in bunches but are prone to going 2 or 3 games with less than 3 runs scored. The pen is admirably holding up. The starters are at times brilliant, mostly solid and occasionally putrid. The manager is continually flummoxed. The fans are patiently biding their time waiting for Saturday's NFL draft where they will probably display their genius by booing a future Hall of Fame pick. While I am on the topic of Philly fans, nowhere are fans as passionate about a football team that has rewarded them so little as these idiots. I am galled that 50% of the typical Citizen's Bank crowd comes from the cretins who cheer E-A-G-L-E-S by the 3rd inning but I do enjoy the fact that they are paying customers. Conversely, Steelers fans don't waste their hard earned cash on $7 Arns while watching the Buccos. At least they are honest about their indifference to baseball. It's a deranged commonwealth, my home state. Perhaps there is a grain of truth to Barack's generalization. I think he misspoke. He meant to say they cling to their Eagles and Stillers. But they are bitter, not doubt.

Back to the state of the Phillies - point is, they are eerily similar to editions past. Some of the parts have changed. Rollins has already missed more games this year than he has his entire career to date. So Taguchi and Jayson Werth are everyday players replacing Aaron Rowand (nice move Sabean) and Shane Victorino but still this club marches on as if nothing has changed.

I suppose that while I am not likely to be as effusively in love with this team as Rob is with his Sox, I do appreciate that they are a fairly decent collection of players who despite their lack of baseball instinct (Utley not included) are nevertheless gutty and persistent. The names have changed but so far, the results are the same.

Out.