Monday, April 07, 2008

I hear prison isn't so bad if you like it up the butt

Game 4 - Yankees

Rays 13, Yanks 4
Record: 2-2

Don't hand Mike Mussina that 2008 Whipping Boy trophy just yet...I forgot the ebony and ivory of abortive relief work, LaTroy Hawkins and Kyle Farnsworth. Can you have co-winners of a completely made up award? You bet your ass you can.

I would really like to know how the conversation went between Joe Girardi and Yankee pitching coach Dave Eiland when it came time to send out Hawkins for the eight, down only 6-4 to the Rays:

Girardi: We haven't seen LaTroy yet this year. Let's get him out there and see if that fastball he throws hard but right down the middle can work tonight.
Eiland: Joe, did you know I'm the only player in baseball history to give up a home run to the first batter I ever faced and hit a home run in my very first AB?
Girardi: Why did Guidry leave again?
Eiland: Joe, I'm pretty sure this Hawkins guy the time it took me to think up this horrible faux conversation, he's given up six runs...but he did get two outs. You know who is a lock to get that third out...
Girardi: bet I do. Get me Farnsworth stat.
Eiland: Watch this...shhh, don't tell anyone, watch...I told him to just relax, forget there were any guys on base-
Girardi: -You told him there were guys on base? Dave you are a moron-
Eiland: -and throw strikes.
Girardi: Carlos Pena just hit a ball 500 feet off him.
Eiland: I can use Joba again tomorrow?

I'm pretty sure that's the Allman Brothers I hear coming from the bullpen sound system.

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