Thursday, April 10, 2008

Wax on... wax off. Wax on... wax off

Games 5, 6, and 7 - Yankees

Devil Rays (I don't accept the name change) 6, Yanks 3
Yanks 2, Devil Rays 0
Yanks 6, Devil Rays 1

Record: 4-3

After dropping the first two games against the horribly renamed Rays of Tampa (seriously, were that many people offended by "Devil" Rays? Shit, do they even have enough fans to form a quorum of dissent?), the Bronx (ahem) Bombers rebounded to win 2-0 and 6-1 behind the excellent pitching performances of CM Wang and, gasp, Mike Mussina. Of course, the 6-3 loss came courtesy of the star witness in US v. Roger Clemens, Mr. Andrew "PED use makes your balls" Pettitte. His Mussina-esque 3 earned in 5IP helps no one, but on the bright side, he's not in jail (yet). And kudos to Rays' octogenarian closer Troy Percival, who earned his first save since 2005 in the 6-3 Tampa Bay win.

Well, yes, I know you could've figured all that out yourselves by simply reading the header...my early season analysis is definitely lacking. But boy aren't these game recaps compelling...and rich? Fine, you want analysis, how about this:
W, L, W, L, L, W, W


That's the Yankees' results through the season's first seven games. Guess what, that ain't gonna fly. And take a wild guess what the key ingredient has been in all these games? No, Millhouse, it most certainly has nothing to do with the offense (or lack thereof). It's all about the starting pitching. Gee, real shocker - you start a season with Wang, Pettitte, the corpse of Mussina and all the kids and you expect something else to be the X factor? Of course, you can mark down a "W" anytime you see a box score progression like this:
Wang, Chamberlain, Rivera


Sure, it might sound like an ambulance-chasing law firm, but right now those are the only guys on the staff you can even remotely trust. Kyle Farnsworth, don't you dare look in this direction. Brian Bruney, take a fucking seat. Moose, hope you enjoy Toby Keith, because that 6-1 start is going to define your season - "I ain't as good as I once was...But I'm as good once as I ever was"


And finally, yes, Jeter did get hurt in the 6-1 win, and yes, it's a groin injury, which as Sam Malone will tell you is a brutal injury to have. But it was good to see Jeter try to take a piss on Akinori Iwamura before he had to leave the game.

2 comments:

Whitney said...

I am enjoying Teejay's posts thus far. They kind of have a Larry King meets Lewis Black feel to them. Can't wait for what's coming based on last night's shut out by the Royals.

TJ said...

Just wait until they get swept tonight...I won't even have enough expletives to fill the post.