Friday, May 30, 2008

A Modest Proposal

Games 53 through 56 - Red Sox

A's 6, Red Sox 3
Red Sox 5, Mariners 3
Mariners 4, Red Sox 3
Mariners 1, Red Sox 0
Record: 32-24

In 1846, after 30 some-odd years of bickering, Britain ceded the Oregon Territory to the U.S. The territory included, among other things, the land that became Washington, which became a state in 1889.

One year later, in 1847, the U.S. Government signed the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo with Mexico, securing territorial rights to California, Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Colorado, and Utah.

While it's possible that those territories offer something useful to our great nation, as a Red Sox fan today, I stand before you with a modest proposal: give 'em back. To Britain, all of Washington - Seattleites get socialized medicine and cricket. To Mexico, California's yours, amigos. And most importantly to me and my ilk, the Mariners, A's (and Angels) go join their home country's leagues and stop making me miserable. No more 10:10 pm start times. No more waking up to check the computer to see how the Sox did, only to shake my head ruefully at yet another underperforming loss. And no more underperforming losses, sleepwalking through on Pacific Standard Time. Somnambulant bastards.

I'd even be willing to throw in Arizona. That'd create all kinds of havoc with November's Presidential election, what with one of the candidates now being Mexican, but that's a minor risk I'm willing to take.


Nick said...

Rob -

Fess up. Either you are a history major, a history dork or you Wiki'd the Pacific Coast states. Which is it?

Whatever the answer, I am in agreement. However, just to put things in perspective, flash back 25 years ago when there was no ESPN or internet. You had to wait 36 hours unitl you found out that your team got beat 11-2.

rob said...

nick - that's a trick question. all three are accurate statements.