Thursday, May 01, 2008

Don Quixote

Game 29 - Red Sox

Red Sox 2, Blue Jays 1
Record: 17-12

Updating the Red Sox starting pitching situation, we find that Messrs. Buchholz, Beckett, Lester, and Matsuzaka have combined over the past 4 games to throw 30 innings with a 0.90 ERA and a 0.63 WHIP. Over that span, they allowed 10 hits and 9 walks while striking out 32. These 4 games will quite likely represent the most dominant such streak by any rotation in the game this season (though I will not be doing the research necessary to back that claim). We're talking about some serious dealing here, boys and girls, Buzz Bissinger-level crazy performances.

Those 4 guys are 0-2 over the span in question.

Over in the corner of the locker room, Jonathan Papelbon - owner of consecutive wins - is cackling, holding his index and middle fingers up and saying, "V is for Vulture, motherfuckers!". While Dustin Pedroia, Julio Lugo, Manny Ramirez and a handful of other regulars skulk to the showers muttering apologies to the aforementioned starters. Julian Tavarez is licking the team's flat-screen television, just because he likes the feel of the static electricity against his tongue.

So, um, batsmen. A bit of alacrity in your step this evening might be nice. Those guys on the mound, they can't keep this up forever.

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