Monday, July 07, 2003

This Just In – Your 2003 Mets All-Star

If you weren't following along every step of the way, and in all likelihood, you weren't, you'd think that I cheated. You'd have to assume that I went back after the fact and edited my old postings to accurately reflect later events. Well, I didn't. I'm just that good.

On June 25th, I wrote:
"What should Dusty Baker really do? Say F-you to everyone in New York and select their douchebag reliever who finishes games . . . sometimes, depending upon how putrid his pitching is that day."

And who will be the lone (no surprise there) representative for the Metropolitans at the All-Star Game? Your friend and mine, Armando Benitez. [It should be noted that I have lifted the ban on typing his name; I found out that (a) he will never be traded because the new GM enjoys the agony his presence provides me, (b) he found out about the boycott and is expanding the ups and downs of this rollercoaster on purpose, and (c) coming up with new ways to refer to the man besides calling him by name is more work than typing his long-assed name. But I think my point was made.]

To be exact, I think it may have been the players and not Baker responsible for Benitez's inclusion on the All-Star roster, but man, oh, man, did I call that one. And as the talk show callers rant about how idiotic this selection is (it's only slightly less idiotic because the Mets have no clear-cut alternative), I feel no shock and awe, no stunned ire, no perturbed bewilderment. You see, clearly I have a gift, and I caused this mayhem. And my negative forecasts that have all come true were not premonitory; rather, they were supernatural forces at work, altering the future. And so I sit here wondering just how I would like the rest of the season to play out. I think I'll take it one game at a time and see how it goes. Tomorrow the Mets host the Braves; I'm thinking a resounding W-I-N, possibly off formerly unbeatable John Smoltz in the ninth. [I figure I might as well test this sucker out right away.]

Stay tuned.

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