Saturday, April 09, 2005

0 for 4; Oh, for the Love of God

Game 4 - Mets
Braves 3, Mets 1
Record: 0-4, in sole possession of MLB's cellar

I stumbled upon a critical discovery last night. The best way to watch these losses racked up by the 2005 New York Mets is not to watch at all. On location on the outer edges of Met country in central New Jersey, I learned of the Mets' fate last night in Atlanta whilst stuffing my face with a pair of late-night sandwiches (1 gyro, 1 "Fat Bitch"; tonight I'll visit an old friend named cheesesteak & egg). I spotted a fellow in Mets garb at the other side of the eatery, gave the not-quite-Gallaudet-worthy sign language for "How'd they do tonight?" and got the emphatic thumbs-down and a disgusted shake of the head. That was it, and compared to the relative agony of watching or closely following Games 1-3, it was a minor pin prick. So there it is: shooting pool, throwing darts, and guzzling cheap beer as if the secret to life is in the bottom of the next pint glass is a far more enjoyable -- and actually, based on my fellow bloggers' recaps, far more exciting -- night's activity. Please, Mets, don't make me start recapping my bar games instead of your baseball games. In truth, the thrilling saga of my friend Dave and I coming back from the brink to steal a game of billiards against the crusty local ringers was an thoroughly more appealing yarn than the Mets continuing their Opening Act slide.

Up tonight:
1. It appears Aaron Heilman will get the start in Atlanta. He gets to face the Braves in front of the worst fans in baseball history instead of Jose Santiago because Mike Cameron is headed to the DL. The typical glass half-full/half-empty scenario for the Mets, which I am calling half-full right now because I think it takes this game out of the "unwinnable loss" category discussed earlier. Of course, it's when you realize the Mets' vessel is a dribble-glass that you understand that no amount of bright-siding really matters.

2. I am going to an Elvis Blue Hawaii party tonight, complete with group karaoke, followed by a bar crawl through New Brunswick. Here's betting that #2 is more recap-worthy than #1 tomorrow.

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