Misery Loves Company: Two Guys Watch Baseball

Game 33 - Mets

Dodgers 2, Mets 1
Record: 14-19

Half of this game was hard to watch, the other was enjoyable. Seeing Steve Trachsel fool, jam, and cross up most of the Dodgers' hitters for seven good innings was nice. Seeing Stanton, Weathers, and the defense play largely flawless ball was very nice. But oh, the offense, or lack thereof. They managed just three hits, and Roger Cedeno got two of them! And as long as the official scorer is employing haphazard rulings (sorry, just a residual snipe from an earlier posting), he should have stricken one of those two hits from the box score. Cedeno slapped awkwardly at an eye-high 0-2 pitch to force a swinging bunt down the third-base line. It hugged the grass just inside the line and came to rest nestled 'twixt the chalk and the green like an egg, and the pitcher, catcher, and third baseman all congregated around it, as if having discovered a dyed gift from the Easter Bunny. It was really kind of cute -- not what you want out of your base hits. I think that assessment pretty much goes for the entire Mets' lineup these days. Mo is a big ol' teddy bear who wouldn't harm you or a curveball for anything; Timo's your little buddy; Ty Wigginton and Vance Wilson are the boy-next-door types; Shinjo and Tony Clark are those nattily dressed gentlemen; Mike Piazza is that nice guy who hocks long distance with Terry Bradshaw and Alf; Roger Cedeno's the slow-witted guy trying not to be noticed in the back of the class; and Robby Alomar is the little boy down the street who plays with dolls. All of these guys are cute, harmless, and nice. Isn't that so sweet? The only scary-looking guy is Cliff Floyd, who, among this bunch, seems like the mean gremlin with the mohawk.

As if there weren't enough problems with the Opening Day lineup, now Mo Vaughn and Jeromy Burnitz are on the DL and Mike Piazza sat out another game after having a mole removed (not a cute thought, thanks). If you believe what you read on those "official" online publications, every day inches closer to Steve Phillips' demise and the departure of at least one of these big names/contracts. And the Mets are still in last despite the Marlins' recent plummet. These are not the happy days, the salad days, as they say . . .