Wednesday, July 23, 2008

So You Think You Can Dance

Game 100 - Mets

Phillies 8, Mets 6
Record: 53-47

You know, at some point, the Mets are going to get sick of letting the Phillies do this to them. At some point they're going to dedicate themselves to knocking those goofy smiles off the faces of the Phightins. At some point the manager, hitters, fielders, starters, relievers, even the base coaches and Mr. Met will all be on the same page and stop handing winnable losses to craptacular ne'er-do-wells like the Philadelphia Phillies.

Look, people, the city of Philadelphia hasn't won anything of merit in 25 years. The Arena Bowl is coming up, and the Philadelphia Soul is playing to give the Brotherly Lovers a serious uptick in the "thrill of victory" department. Why do you, Metmen, seem to want to reverse that glorious tradition single-handedly?

Isn't enough that's you've singularly resuscitated that doofus Pat Burrell's career not once but three times? Then you have to utterly propel them into the postseason last year? (Kudos to the flash-in-the-pan Rockies for dispatching this band of losers summarily like the Mets should've.) Now you've got to hand out smiles to every Pennsyltuckian this side of State College with another pants-wetting after a Santana start? Come on now.

I can only hope you plan to repeat the last series against these arseclowns -- you know, with a 10-game win-streak following a series-opening, Santana-started, blown-lead loss to the Philthies. In the meantime, sack up, stop letting them nancy-dance around like giggly half-a-sissies after you give the game away (Luis Aguayo, Wendell Kim has a few words for you), and develop a shoulder-chip, pronto.

That is all.


rob said...

what about games 89-99? hmm? hmm? hmm?

Nick said...

What about a little charity you whiny, lemon sucking, infantile boob?

It'd be one thing if your club was a serious contender for something more substantial than the humble mantle of the NL East but really, you cannot think for one tiny, infinitesimal fraction of a second that the Mess are somehow supposed to beat the Phillies.

Let me explain it to you. We are the favorites; you are the pesky rivals. That being said, neither squad is even remotely close to having the necessary ingredients to go past the first week in October.

Get over yourself.

I will attribute your ill conceived temper tantrum of a post to simple frustration. I can certainly understand it given the complete nabob-ery of your organization. Denial is strong with you.

Whitney said...

The Mets aren't supposed to beat the Phillies? At home? With Johan Santana on the hill giving them eight strong? And a lineup featuring Reyes, Wright, Beltran, Delgado, etc? And a big lead going into the 9th?

Spoken like a true Phillies fan. Rodney Dangerfield couldn't have spoken out the side of his mouth any better, clamoring for respect when really, none will be offered.

Yeah, the Mets are sucking. But every time they look over at the cherry (hill) red pinstripes cabbage-patching in the other dugout, they've got to me muttering to themselves, "I can't believe we're losing to these guys."

Yeah, the Phils might be just as good or better -- but just like Coors Light might technically be no worse a beer than the other American mass-produced lights, somewhere deep down, you know better. It's worse.

Get ready for more unfounded, unprovoked bad-mouthing, motherfucker. It's almost August.

Nick said...

You're a crack whore.

I am not sure just how you managed to get inside the heads of the motley bunch of looney fuckers you call the Mets to determine what it is they feel about themselves compared to "these guys."

I don't doubt that every athlete thinks he is better than he actually is and so in that respect, I suppose the perpetually overpaid, underachieving collection of has beens and coulda beens that litter your downtrodden roster are no doubt frustrated by their inability to establish dominance over "these guys." However, just because they "think" this, don't make it so.

I suspect when they look in the opposing dugout, they do so with a bit of envy. Man for man, they know the Phils are probably a little better. Sure, the Reyes-Rollins, Wright-Utley matchups are a wash. For that matter, Howard-Delgado is erased by Beltran-Victorino. If Church were healthy, you'd have something to crow about in RF but unfortunately, he's not so for what its Werth, we take that spot. I don't think your disrespect of Pat Burrell is shared by any rational human being outside the Township. Our bench - for whatever reason, has been among the best in baseball this year. Your starters? At their best, sure they are better. Problem is, they aren't at their best and your messiah is not likely to net you any more wins than the vilified Tommy G gave you last year. Typical Mets luck there, eh? You wanna talk bullpens? Didn't think so.

Again, this Phillies club is fatally flawed. I don't expect much beyond a possible NL East title which to be honest, is like being Mo Howard to the division's collection of Shemps, Curlys and Larrys. However, if you expect me to concede that what passes for a "pennant contender" in Flushing is anything more than comparable to the Phils, well, as I said, you ar a crack whore.

Whitney said...

Nick, you just spent 321 words attempting to disprove what I had previously conceded was "unfounded, unprovoked bad-mouthing."

Taking me seriously isn't something I figured you were capable of, though in your defense it's a lot easier to know I am in pursuit of your goat when you can see me fighting back a grin.

Plus, you forgot Curly Joe.


Nick said...

For reference, the Nats = Curly Joe since Curly Joe was a minor player in Stoogedom, much like the Nats – irrelevant.

FWIW, I suck at reading comprehension.

Are we having fun yet?

Muck the Fets!

rob said...

more of this, please.