Friday, July 16, 2004

Potshot Into the Shins
 
So Rob "Technicolor Dreamcoat" Russell issues me a libelous label because my vastly superior knowledge of all matters trivial and worthless clearly dwarfs his?  I am armed with just enough information about matters small and smaller to be dangerous, or at least to drone on and on indefinitely.  When I was 10, I knew Reggie Jackson's middle name (Martinez), Tommy Lasorda's birthday (my own), and Mookie Wilson's real first name (William).  I also knew that Frank Gorshin played The Riddler on TV's Batman, that The Shining made me soil myself, and that I would one day marry Cheryl Tiegs.  And I knew that the walker-thingie things were called At-Ats, mainly because my nextdoor neighbor the 7-year-old had one in action figure size.  I still know all of these things (especially the Cheryl Tiegs thing), despite giving my brain cells a barrage equivalent to a blanket party over the years since.  I will not apologize for this, especially to one who's heard Jawa/Ewok/R2-D2/Yoda epithets thrown his way from ages 7 to 34.  Retreat back to your oohing and ahing of nifty colorization.  Ted Turner has some old films for you.
 
In unrelated news, the Baltimore Orioles were just shut out on three hits by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.  Mixed emotions here -- the O's slip further away from the 75-win plateau that wins me two dozen beverages, but it'll likely spark yet another Angelos-smudging in the papers.  See www.selltheorioles.com for the rare type of negative press I actually enjoy.

No comments: