Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Air Bud

The Joy of Sox comes through this morning with a story that's eminently plausible and highly comical:

After Jonathan Papelbon struck out Seth Smith to clinch the 2007 World Series title, Jason Varitek pocketed the baseball, then gave it to the pitcher.Later, Papelbon's agent said the Bot did not have the ball. No one cared all that much -- Theo Epstein: "I hope that's a recurring problem for us" -- but the mystery may have been solved.


"My dog ate it. ... He plays with baseballs like they are his toys. His name is Boss. He jumped up one day on the counter and snatched it. He likes rawhide. He tore that thing to pieces. Nobody knows that. I'll keep what's left of it."

Add one more brick to the wall of awesome that is Jonathan Papelbon.

(Story originally from the Hattiesburg American)


Whitney said...

Hey, Nick, how do you feel about Geoff Jenkins joining Mike Cameron out there? $6 or 7M a year is silly, but not shocking. Might not be a bad power pick-up in that ridiculous little stadium, but yet another K-heavy stat line could continue the Phils' trend of an all-or-nothing kind of lineup.

Nick said...

Well, for the price (can't believe I am writing this) its not a bad pickup. Fortunately, Cameron is no longer on the wish list according to Stand Pat.

Your lineup could look like this vs. righties:

Helms (God help us!)
Jaramillo (rookie catcher)

Against lefties:

Substitue Werth for Jenkins and Coste for Jaramillo.

No matter how you arrange the lineup, the fact remains that the smoke from the Bull's barecue will be billowing out toward the parking lot each and every night from the wind shears generated by the middle of the lineup. Feast or famine yet again. Perhaps Mr. Gore should urge the Phillies to use the energy generated by these windmills to power the light towers at the Bank.

(BTW, the Phils also signed pitcher Chad Durbin from the Tigers. He will be on the staff with JD Durbin. No word on whether they are in the market for Senator Dick Durbin.)

(BTW II, Robb, what do you make of Schill's latest diatribe against the Rocket?)

Whitney said...

As opposed to when Robb told us in college he was casting off his old nickname in favor of the (presumably Bull Durham-inspired) moniker "Meat," this extra-b thing may have legs (at least longer than Robb's own).

rob said...

it was porky's-inspired. i'm feeling taller already.

Whitney said...

By the way, when I saw "Air Bud" I began to anticipate some sort of scathing diatribe on baseball's commissioner. Nope. Story 'bout a dog eating a baseball. Kind of think you should've saved that title.

TJ said...

Why do they call you Meat?

Whitney said...

It's short for Meter. (3.28 feet.)

Thanks for the set, Teej, though I can't actually take credit for the joke. It came from our old buddy Dave immediately after Robb suggested the nickname change.

rob said...

i kinda figured we'd change to a different naming convention when the new season begins. like vegetables, or christian rock stars.

Whitney said...

Why not do vegetable-related AND Christian Rock, like, say, Ryper?

Just awful.

Whitney said...

And I still think that if we can't color code the title text or put a picture of the author atop each post, we should each have our own post title naming conventions. I'll keep the movies, Nick can take elements of the periodic table, TJ can take Dungeons & Dragons terminology, and Robbb can do Spoonerisms & Sniglets.

Or we can each entitle our every post with the name of a current or former player in our beloved franchise's history. (My pool would be considerably shallower than your three's.) The performance of the team and associated mood of the writer is reflected in the quality of the player in the team's annals, i.e., a "Tom Seaver" title befits a 7-game win streak or a stirring shutout win, while "Doug Flynn" is perfect for when the team can't hit its way out of a crumpled, old, brown, Caffrey's-soaked bag. "Mo Vaughn" would be intriguing to the reader -- you don't know if it's a pretty pleased post about the Sox or a frustrated (and possibly bloated) rant on the Mets' woes.

Itsmetsforme said...

this reading about the phillies after they broke my heart is a nice accompaniment to my reading about the sterling ticket gauging, er, increase after a historical collapse. thanks to all involved.