Slip Slidin' Away

Game 111 – Red Sox

Royals 6, Red Sox 4
Record: 65-46

In an effort to spare Whitney’s delicate sensibilities, I’ll refrain from recounting most of what went through my mind last night as the Sox sputtered in every phase of the game to punt a winnable game to the league’s worst team. No, in keeping with the dictum laid down by Thumper’s daddy, it’s all about the positive here at MLC today, even as the Sox have lost 3 straight to Tampa Bay and Kansas City.

Wily Mo Pena hit a massive bomb into the concession stand in left to give the Sox a short-lived lead in the 4th inning. (It’s a measure of the low-rent nature of the entire Royals franchise that the camera crew lost track of the ball.) Then, later, the indomitable David Ortiz crushed a ball to dead center to get the Sox within a run in the 7th.

Okay. That’s all I got. If you can’t say something nice, better not to say anything at all, I’ve always held.

(Whistling.)

Alright, maybe this one thing. If Tito chooses to keep running Coco Crisp and his .330 OBP out at the top of the order instead of Kevin Youkilis and his .400, I’ll be forced to…pout indignantly and say mean things. Also, in keeping with the Coco theme, if you run a major league baseball club and notice that your centerfielder requires a cutoff man to make a short throw home, or allows a runner to advance from 1st to 2nd on a medium-length flyout, perhaps you should reassess. Kudos to the Sox for finding the 1 guy in professional baseball who makes Johnny Damon’s throwing arm look like Vladimir Guerrero’s.

Oh, and there’s this. Javy Lopez looks more lost behind the plate than Josh Bard did. At least Bard had an excuse. Good thing Javy’s brought his bat to the party. Sadly, it’s one of those giant, red Flintstone-looking things.

Well, the bullpen improved, allowing only 2 runs to the Royals in 3 innings after Sunday’s 5-run immolation in Tampa. Of course, those 2 runs were the margin of victory.

At least the Yankees lost. But the White Sox and Twins won. Fuck.

They say that it's impossible to appreciate the moment when you're stuck in the middle of it - sort of a forest-for-trees analogy. Man, do I hope I wake up 30 days from now and get to make fun of myself for this run of hand-wringing. I'm sure Whitney's already got a dead white guy's quote prepared for the occasion.