Dark Side of the Moon

Games 8 & 9

Phils 5, Mess 2

Mess 8, Phils 2

Record: 4 up, 5 down

And now, my yang to Whit's ying (or the ying to the yang.)

First, can we please dispose of the notion that the Phillies' surreal and tantilizing 9 game winning streak vs. their "archrivals" to the North was a product of the Mets' "handing" the games to Philly? Likewise, Philly didn't hand the game to the NYM last night despite the 4 errors. We must agree that good teams don't kick 4 balls around the dirt and expect to win very often. In fact, teams that commit multiple errors a game are not to be considered very good at all, at least on that night. Games are won and lost almost as frequently when one team avoids errors/makes plays as when a team exposes 3rd starters, weak middle relief or a slow footed left fielder.

Winning is about making the plays. Making errors is the other side of the same coin. If Eric Bruntlet-piglet-wiggleitjustalittlebit makes errors because he is a weak substitute for Jimmy Rollins, well then the Mets were a better team last night. (By the way - Hey Jimmy, your guarantees stand a better chance of coming to fruition when you are in the lineup so heal fast - without HGH!)

Other than this, I have not much to say. The 162 game schedule ensures that the better team rises, blah, blah blah....

Now Whitney, please go slap Billy Wagner.

Laugh-In

Game 7 - Mets

Mets 8, Phillies 2
Record: 3-4

Yesterday I asked for an end to the losing streak against the Phils; specifically, I believe I asked for "busting out . . . in impressive fashion." Well, the Mets managed five hits, committed a fairly hideous error, and Mike Pelfrey threw 100 pitches in five innings. Not altogether impressive.

Yet the Mets won in a laugher, with us chuckling mostly at the mitten-wearing fielders on the Philadelphia Phillies.

Big thanks go out to the Phillies for taking it upon themselves to provide six (6) unearned runs. I'm quite sure the Mets would've managed to botch this game without the gift-wrapped favor. Now that is brotherly love.

With Jimmy Rollins out with a sore ankle, understudy Eric Bruntlett made a couple of comically poor plays that directly led to runs scoring. The heralded Chase Utley booted another costly one; the Phils had four errors on the night, and each hurt.

To flog the demised equine, let's take a look at how the Mets scored:
D Wright safe at first on error by second baseman C Utley, J Reyes scored.
D Easley singled to left, C Delgado scored, R Church to second.
J Reyes safe at first on error by shortstop E Bruntlett, R Church scored, D Easley to third, M Pelfrey to second.
A Pagan doubled to left, D Easley and M Pelfrey scored, J Reyes to third.
D Wright safe at first on error by shortstop E Bruntlett, J Reyes scored, A Pagan to third.
J Reyes grounded into double play, second to first, D Easley scored, B Schneider out at second.
(As an aside, Jose has darted out of the gate with a .475 OPS and no SB's since 9/15 of last year. At least the hypotheses that it was fatigue are being debunked.)

The point of all of this, if there has to be a point, is that the Mets didn't exactly lace 'em up and get after it last night, so there's much more row to hoe. Pelf did acquit himself fairly nicely, and there was definitely a timeliness to the Mets' offense last night, one that had gone missing since . . . sometime around Rosh Hashanah. But this game was a gift, make no mistake, one which led to one of the more macho text message transmissions during the middle innings, my message to Rob that if the mets blow this i am throwing a serious hissy fit.

So let's thank the Phightin' Phils for it. As Crash Davis would say, when you speak of them . . . speak well.

New Amsterdam

Game 6 - Mets

Phillies 5, Mets 2
Record: 2-4

"…i hate to say it, but this feels EXACTLY like a game from last September…in every way, shape and form…"

That quote from MetsBlog's Matthew Cerrone during yesterday's come-from-ahead loss crystallized to a tee the angst I was feeling. I couldn't place it for a while, I couldn't get a bead on why I was so annoyed with one early-season loss -- even one with sloppy play and crappy relief, even one to the irksome Phillies. But there it is. This was exactly the type of game the Mets continued to play and lose last September, with squandered opportunities early, a squandered lead late, and a gaffe just detrimental enough to swing the game.

Yesterday, said gaffe came courtesy of Carlos Delgado. It wasn't the worst error ever recorded; Delgado's throw to second base hit Chase Utley in the back. (Add that to the 3 HBP's for Utley on the day; the kid is a ball magnet, and you can take that any way you want.) But it was a play that should be routine coming out of spring training, and one that has to be made. It wasn't, the Phillies rallied, and the tenuous 2-0 lead evaporated.

Enter (later) Aaron Heilman, inflating deficits lately like he's a part of the current administration. For his second straight appearance he came into a game down a run and upped that to a three-run hole with just a few deft maneuvers. Aaron, if you could do less of that . . . thanks, dude.

Let's not let Scott "PED-estrian" Shoeneweis scoot out unscathed, though. His variation on duck-duck-goose (single-single-plunk) set the table for Delgado's peg, and it's all part of a growing concern. The purportedly galvanized bullpen is suddenly starting to look like the box of fireworks Willie had to select from every night last September. (Willie Randolph: "Wait, inflammable means flammable???) The round-robin of suckitude wherein every new day is someone else's turn to screw it up must come to a close.

Cue the broken record: It's early. That the Mets have the second-worst record in the NL can be assuaged with mentions that the Orioles, Marlins, and Royals lead their respective divisions today. (O's are 6-1; it says here they'll be 15-25.) We're not actually worried yet that the Mets won't contend. But what denizens of Mets Township have to see to get any sense of comfort after the mudslide of '07, however, is a serious break from the patterns of last fall.

Busting out of an embarrassing losing streak to the Phils tonight in some kind of impressive fashion might well help to shake off yesterday's spot-on impression of the New York Mets of yesterSeptember.

Redemption

Game 8 - Red Sox

Red Sox 5, Tigers 0
Record: 4-4

Bill Buckner threw out the first pitch on Opening Day at Fenway Park.

That's a sentence I'm not sure I ever expected to write. And one that encapsulates everything that's happened since 2004 as well as any other. Billy Buck never deserved the scorn he received after 1986, for so many reasons documented here and elsewhere, but even so, he lived as an unwilling symbol of such legendary (or at least legendarily hyped) angst. He owed Sox fans no debt, needed no forgiveness, but I can only imagine the weight that lifted today as the Fenway crowd welcomed him with a sustained roar. The Nation will be fairly maligned for any number of reasons this season, but Sox fans (and not for nothing, the front office that conjured this particular exorcism) did themselves proud today on a beautiful afternoon in the Hub.














As for the 2008 Sox, they waited through an hour-plus of World Series ring ceremonies and Opening Day pageantry, and turned in a no-muss, no-fuss, just-the-facts-ma'am performance against the Tigers. Daisuke Matsuzaka remained untouchable in America, shutting the Tigers out for 6 2/3 innings before turning the ball over to Manny Delcarmen and Hideki Okajima for 2 1/3 uneventful frames. Matsuzaka has now whiffed 22 and allowed 8 hits in 18 1/3 innings in his first 3 starts.

Kevin Youkilis drove in 2 runs as part of a 3-for-3 day, while the recently-maligned Julio Lugo added 2 hits and a pair of tallies. Manny Ramirez started the scoring with a homerun, Little League-style, as he tripled to deep center and scored when Placido Polanco threw wildly to third.

But on a day where the franchise finally and emphatically bade farewell to the accursed and ill-remembered past, the redemption of Bill Buckner overshadowed any of the on-field action. Cool.

Proud Mary

Games 4,5,6 & 7

Phils 8, Redlegs 4
Redlegs 4 Phils 3
Redlegs 8, Phils 2
Phils 5, Redlegs 3

Record: 3-4

Weekends roll by pretty quickly. We are now going through the rotation for the second turn and so far the results are the same. This time however, the Phils wisely took advantage of Cole Hamels’ fine effort in the Great American Smallpark by knocking four balls out of the park and thereby splitting the weekend series with the Redlegs. (I think they should go with the official name, don’t you?) I began to give you an account of the game before realizing the worthlessness of that endeavor. You come here for analysis. It may be uninformed, malformed, shoddy or incongruous but it is analysis nonetheless. I began the season opining that the Phils need their starters to eat innings. So far, the results are:

Myers: 2 starts, 10 IP
Hamels: 2 starts, 15 IP
Moyer: 1 start, 3 2/3rds IP
Kendrick: 1 start, 5 IP
Eaton: 1 start, 7 2/3rds IP

Obviously, Myers is a disappointment thus far. He has to come up big this Friday against the Cubs. It all starts with him. He is supposed to be the #1, the "go to" guy. Hamels is the real #1 starter on this club and the only reason he wasn’t tagged as such was in deference to Myers’ return to the rotation. I think management felt they owed Myers that respect for having been so dutiful the past two seasons bounding from starter to closer to starter. Regardless, Hamels is the best pitcher on the staff and if he stays healthy, he should turn in a great season.

Jamie Moyer is done. Cooked. Finito. Gonzo. Thanks for the memories Jamie but I am afraid your hometown team waited much too long before bringing you home. You have not pitched well since the break in ’07. Your days are numbered unless you develop a knuckler. Aren't you and Wakefield buds? He's the only other player who was born when you threw your first major league pitch. Ask him to show you how its done.

Kyle Kendrick did not turn in a great effort but he didn’t implode either so we still have hope there.

Adam Eaton surprised everybody. He is pitching for his job right now and one has to figure he bought some time with his effort Saturday. Curiously, I read in today’s Inquirer that Eaton has had success against the Metropolitans recently so perhaps he can keep that going on Thursday.

This is a big week. Whitney will weigh in on that shortly I suspect. I would guess the pressure is on the Mets more so than the Phillies if only because they are at home and they probably want to bury last year’s nightmare right at the get-go. If they drop game 1, can you imagine tomorrow’s Daily News? It should be fun. Games one and two are Met broadcasts with the middle game on the Deuce HD. Queue Michael Buffer.

To Kill a Mockingbird

Game 7 - Red Sox

Blue Jays 7, Red Sox 4

Record: 3-4

Tomorrow afternoon, sometime around 2:10 p.m., Julio Lugo will hear his name announced over the public address system at Fenway Park, followed almost immediately by a cascade of sounds that rhyme with his surname. "Hey, cool", he'll think to himself, "They like me. They really like me." At which point Dustin Pedroia will turn to him and say, "Whatever, fuckstick. I know Kevin Youkilis. I bat in front of Kevin Youkilis. And you, sir, are no Kevin Youkilis."

And Pedroia will be right in more ways than one. Lugo's 3 errors yesterday are 3 more than Youkilis has made in his last 190+ games. Youkilis works counts with the zeal of a missionary and gets on base at a robust rate. Lugo swings and hacks like he's allergic to the chalk in the batter's box, and generally touches the bases only when he's turning two (and even then he's usually only in the neighborhood). And while Lugo and Youks will both hear a sonorous chorus of "ooooo"s tomorrow as the Sox finally return to Boston, only one of them should be happy about it.

As for yesterday's game, and the Sox' first 7, I'll once again cede the floor to young Mr. Pedroia, who said after his team's third consecutive loss, "“Yeah, we had to go to Japan and yeah, we had a 19-day road trip, but that’s the schedule, we have to accept it, no excuses. We played like shit for three games and got our asses kicked, how’s that?”

Yep. That's about right.

I hear prison isn't so bad if you like it up the butt

Game 4 - Yankees

Rays 13, Yanks 4
Record: 2-2

Don't hand Mike Mussina that 2008 Whipping Boy trophy just yet...I forgot the ebony and ivory of abortive relief work, LaTroy Hawkins and Kyle Farnsworth. Can you have co-winners of a completely made up award? You bet your ass you can.

I would really like to know how the conversation went between Joe Girardi and Yankee pitching coach Dave Eiland when it came time to send out Hawkins for the eight, down only 6-4 to the Rays:

Girardi: We haven't seen LaTroy yet this year. Let's get him out there and see if that fastball he throws hard but right down the middle can work tonight.
Eiland: Joe, did you know I'm the only player in baseball history to give up a home run to the first batter I ever faced and hit a home run in my very first AB?
Girardi: Why did Guidry leave again?
Eiland: Joe, I'm pretty sure this Hawkins guy blows...in the time it took me to think up this horrible faux conversation, he's given up six runs...but he did get two outs. You know who is a lock to get that third out...
Girardi: ...you bet I do. Get me Farnsworth stat.
Eiland: Watch this...shhh, don't tell anyone, watch...I told him to just relax, forget there were any guys on base-
Girardi: -You told him there were guys on base? Dave you are a moron-
Eiland: -and throw strikes.
Girardi: Carlos Pena just hit a ball 500 feet off him.
Eiland: I can use Joba again tomorrow?

I'm pretty sure that's the Allman Brothers I hear coming from the bullpen sound system.

And this is the "pride" of Angel Beach...Anthony Tuperello, affectionately known as "Meat"

Game 3 - Yankees

Yankees 3, Blue Jays 2
Record: 2-1

I had not realized this, but Phil Hughes, at age 21, is the youngest pitcher in the bigs. And though he didn't get the win against the Jays, he gave Joe Girardi six innings of four hit ball, allowing two runs and striking out four. Rob's boy Joba got the win and Rivera did what he does...I'm telling you, I'll take 3-2 wins like this all year long. Besides, I'm pretty sure Robinson Cano won't hit .091 all year.

Here's a historically meaningless nugget: "Hughes became the youngest Yankees pitcher to start one of the first three games of a season since Hall of Famer Waite Hoyt started Game 2 in 1921, also at 21 years old." I only mention this because Whitney attended this game.

And yes, I've decided to call young Mr. Phil Hughes "Meat". Do with that what you will.

Hell's Kitchen

Games 4 & 5 - Mets

Braves 11, Mets 5
Braves 3, Mets 1
Record: 2-3

A rainout, a blowout, and damn near a shutout. That there's a peach of a weekend in the Peach State, boys.

The extended stretch of Turner Field as a house of horrors for the Mets faded to black somewhat over the past couple of seasons, but it was Retro Weekend in Atlanta. Bad times, but don't worry, Mets fans, as I have some good news for you in a moment.

As for the weekend, it was mostly unpleasant. John Maine was given some fairly unhospitable treatment (once they found out he wasn't related to Orry Main) on Saturday, and former Brave Jorge Sosa was dumped on even worse. Yesterday Aaron Heilman performed his first crunch-time neck whip of the year, allowing a Mark Teixeira two-run shot that proved to be the eventual deficit.

Meanwhile, Tim Hudson held the Metbats in check, and John Smoltz made the Met lineup look downright ordinary for an afternoon. It's just a couple of games on a long schedule, so we'll shake it off. Always irritating to drop a series to that team, however.

Oh, but here's the good news I promised. In the year of our Lord 1986, the New York Mets were as unimpressive in as many games thus far, stumbling to a 2-3 start after losses to the division rival Phillies and Cardinals. They then proceeded to embark upon an 18-1 mark in their next 19 contests; at 20-4 on May 10, the Mets sat perched atop a division lead they'd never relinquish, and . . . well, you know what happened.

Now, I'm not suggesting that this is what's in store for the 2008 Mets. Keith Hernandez would be the first to tell you that these are not your father's New York Mets. I'm just pointing to historical precedent and encouraging the squad to entertain thoughts of inspired play over the next month, so as to set themselves up for a glorious run like 1986. Or a putrid collapse like 2007. Whichever.

Lies (And the Lying Liars Who Tell Them)

Game 6 - Red Sox

Blue Jays 10, Red Sox 2
Record: 3-3

My world is upside down. I can no longer trust anything I once knew to be true. I'm going to go turn on Rush Limbaugh, pour myself a Coors Light, and cuddle up with an Ann Coulter book. For Ken Tremendous hath lied to me.

David Motherbleeping* Eckstein drove in 3 runs this afternoon on a pair of rocket singles**, and he and the rest of his Blue Jay teammates watched with amusement as the Sox defense and relief pitching played a stirring game of charades, each racing to be first to pantomime "Last Train to Pawtucket". As it turns out, Kyle Snyder won, earning a DFA immediately after the last out of this throughly depressing contest.

(* Note: It's still early. The cursing will get more colorful as I get warmed up.)
(** Note: Rocket, in this case, is a synonym for "end of the bat bleeder".)

Saint Josh a Beckett, we turn our beseeching eyes to you.

A Fine Balance

Game 5 - Red Sox

Blue Jays 6, Red Sox 3
Record: 3-2

This game felt like a loss from the jump, so I had a hard time working up any sort of righteous indignation. Jacoby Ellsbury had a ball pop out of his glove as he hit the wall. Ellsbury and Manny Ramirez watched a popup fall in front of them. The Sox wallowed in offensive ineptitude against Shaun Marcum. The Blue Jay righthander allowed a single hit, Kevin Cash's ringing double in the 3rd, through 6 innings, and when Tim Wakefield finally cracked in the bottom of the 6th, I was happy to wander aimlessly through the channels.

Imagine my surprise, then, when J.D. Drew solved Marcum in the top of the very next inning. The very same Drew who elicited the following text message from me to Whitney earlier in the evening: "Ahhh, the ineffectual wave of J.D. Drew at an outside breaking pitch, a sure sign of Spring. Like the salmon of Capistrano." The laconic lefty crushed a Marcum offering into deep right with a pair of runners aboard to tie the game at 3, setting the stage nicely...

...for the dregs of the Sox bullpen to hand the game to Toronto and send the assembled Canadians home happy. First David Aardsma (walk to David Eckstein), then Javier Lopez (single to Shannon Stewart) failed to do their simple jobs, leaving Manny Delcarmen to clean up their mess. And he almost did, recording 2 outs before leaving a changeup over the middle of the plate to Frank Thomas. The Big Hurt is now more of a Paper Cut, but he can still rip meaty pitches, and so he did last night. His 2-run double gave the Jays all they needed.

And left me feeling...eh. (That's eh, as in "whatever, it's far too early in the season to get worked up", not as in, "take off, you hoser") Either Aardsma or Lopez is likely to find himself in less glamorous climes as soon as Sunday, when Josh Beckett comes off the DL. Bartolo Colon's first start in Pawtucket was highly encouraging. Clay Buchholz makes his season debut in about 10 minutes, and it's sunny and 60 where I sit. Can't win 'em all.

Zhoo look Mahvlelous!

Game 3

Phillies 8

Nationals 7

Record 1-2

Remember Billy Crystal's Ferrrrnando Lamas? "Let me tell you my darling, its better to look good than to feel good." Well, I am not certain I'd rather look good than to play good (sic) but if you are gonna boot 4 balls before the opposing teams logs 4 outs, better to do it in these duds.

The Phils donned their 1940's era uniforms yesterday. The 1940s, much like every decade beside the late 1970s/early 1980s were typically abysmal for the franchise. I am not sure picking these uniforms are a good idea but if comes down to these beauties or the baby blue and crimson uniforms of the glory years (what passes for glory years anyway) I'd say to hell with superstition and don these gems.

Fortunately for the Phils, the play of the team (bullpen most notably) improved dramatically once they got past the first inning. Jimmy Rollins made one of those spectacular plays advancing to third base on a sacrifice bunt to force Manny Acta to walk Utley and Howard set up the force and Jesus Colome forgot to start throwing strikes to Jayson Werth after issuing the two free passes. The first win was thrilling and it always feels good when this team comes back from huge early inning deficits. The confidence never really left this team. No chance of that with the ever-optimistic Rollins in the clubhouse. Hopefully they will go into Cincy ready to play.

Still, I really like their chances if they dumped the pinstripes for this uniform. Pinstripes belong only in the Bronx. This uniform is more like Philly.

Growing Pains

So, an increasingly oft-injured pitcher gets hurt the first night he suits up, bringing his signing under more scrutiny. No, no, fair readers, I speak not of Pedro Martinez. I'm talking about Mike Hampton.

"ATLANTA -- Mike Hampton is headed back to the disabled list after hurting himself in pregame warm-ups Thursday night, preventing him from making his first start in almost three years."

Heh, heh.

You know what also hasn't happened in three years? I haven't taken a single potshot at the former Met and (presumably) still current "Little Bulldog." Why is that? For a while I was something of a broken record.

3/05
Win it for the Little Bulldog, Mike Hampton, because it's just not fair that after selling his soul to Colorado and wrangling a shady deal to land on the team that's won its division for every year since helmets were implemented, he hasn't gotten to win the World Series yet. Life is so cruel.

6/04
...the makeshift pitching staff is overachieving. [Except for the Little Bulldog, sadly (1-6, 5.49).]

4/04
Hampton served up more hits than Casey Kasem (again) and his ERA now looks like my dry-cleaning bill. Damn shame. Ah, well, he did say he didn't like playing in New York. I have some distaste for those "we chewed you up and spit you out" New Yorkers who love to rail on guys who didn't find solace in NYC (read: Yankee apes), but there was just something about the way Hampton abandoned the team when they most needed him -- for the money, money, and more money the Rockies were offering -- that left me very, very cold on him. And he's probably just a nice fellow with a dorky nickname (the "little bulldog"), but I'm relishing his lack of success since. He went belly-up in Denver, landed on his feet in Atlanta after some sketchy dealings with the Marlins, and gave the Braves less of a marquee season than . . . Jason Marquis. His two outings this year, both against the Mets, have been horrendous. This, my friends, is karma, the kind of karma you talk about when you have no idea what Buddha was really all about.

4/04
Seeing former Met and Rob fave (a little too much so) Mike Hampton take a shellacking is never a bad thing.

9/03
Fran Healy and Howie Rose were discussing a quick, unpleasant conversation between Mike Piazza and Braves pitcher Mike Hampton. I guess Hampton said something to Piazza, trying to stir up trouble, but Piazza quelled it with a "Just play baseball." Healy and Rose went on to bring up something from three years ago that wasn't discussed enough when it happened -- if Hampton had plunked a Yankee after Clemens threw the bat at Piazza, warnings would have been issued to both teams and Clemens' inside pitch might have been altered. At the very least, it might have felt like the score was evened. As it happened, Hampton made the decision not to hit a Yank. And as we all know, Clemens pitched well and got a boost from Armando "Seattle Is Almost Far Enough Away" Benitez, and the Yankees won the tone-setting World Series game. Anyway, what happened afterwards was that Hampton bad-mouthed Piazza (from Denver), saying he should have fought Clemens when he threw the bat at him. Implying that Piazza backed down. Ignoring that it would have meant the Mets losing their MVP for not only that game but probably at least one more. Forgetting that if he himself had been tougher, things might have been much better for the team. What a wiener. And Rob loves this guy.

I suppose that, what with Hampton in something of a witness protection program over the past few seasons, he hasn't been pertinent, and I would've really been going out of my way to rag him. (Never been above that, mind you.) More than that, though, there was a sense that old Karma had served him his papers for his sins, and piling on goes against the credo we espouse over at Gheorghe: The Blog. After all, he was only guilty of being some combination of avaricious, pusillanimous, and turncoatly. (Avapusscoat, so says the urban dictionary.)

So I've held off while accusations abound that Hampton had his suits tailored by Radomski, McNamee, & Sons (or that the reason he didn't plunk Clemens was because they frequented the same juice bars). I haven't made further mockery of the shambles his career has plummeted into. It's just not that cool. And besides, people with glass #2 pitchers shouldn't throw stones. So, today I merely mention this latest setback as a newsworthy note about our divisional adversary.


Heh, heh.

Under the Boardwalk

Game 2
Nats 1, Phils 0
Record 0-2



The Phillies have spent the first two games wasting quarters on Whac-a-mole. First, it was the ugly starting and closing pitching performance on Monday. On Wednesday, it was the inept 1-hit effort against a very less than mediocre pitcher whom Don Sutton inexplicably thinks is similar to John Smoltz. Well, Tim Redding's results against the Phils last night were Smoltz-ian in every way except for the 2 K's which is quite a feat considering the way Ryan Howard, Pat Burrell and Geoff Jenkins's would all make great pitch men for Carrier.

Back to the second coming of John Smoltz for a moment. Exactly how does a guy with a 25-40 career record who has only one season in 7 years where he logged a full season of starts waltz into the Bank and shut out this lineup? Who knows?

All I can take from this is that it is much better for this team to get a great outing from Hamels (8 IP, 5 hits, 2 BB and 7 Ks) and lose then to have a crappy outing from Hamels and win. The Phils need this kid to pitch a full season and to stay as effective as he was last night. If that happens, my guess is that they will stand to win most of his starts.

Now let's see if middle relief can botch today's matinee. Death, taxes and a slow start for the Phillies. Can't avoid 'em.

You talkin' to me?

Games 1 and 2 - Yankees

Yankees 3, Blue Jays 2
Blue Jays 5, Yankees 2
Record: 1-1

So, obviously, I'm the last to the party, and I'll spare you the excuses, except to say the bigwigs down here at Kramerica are gonna need to cut me some slack so I can get these MLC posts up in some sort of timely fashion. Between doing actual work (god forbid) and the time I'm wasting over here daily, the baseball season is almost a week old and I feel like I'm just getting adjusted. Luckily, Game 2 starter "Don't Cry For Me" Mike Mussina's middling but expected appearance last night shook me out of my doldrums. But we'll hold off on old smarty pants for a sec...

As you might have heard on that newish all sports cable network ESPN, Game 1 (delayed a day) for the Yankees was the last opening day at Yankee Stadium, or as I like to call it, the House That John Lindsay Built. Let's put it this way - if the Yankees can get those kind of pitching performances all year I like my chances of winning even more beer from my dimunitive MLC nemesis. In fact, have we officially made that bet yet Robert?

Seven strong from Chien-Ming Wang (not Jewish), a dominant inning from Joba Chamberlain and then Mariano Rivera shutting the door in the ninth (all white meat nugget: Rivera didn't get his first save last season until April 28)...I can certainly handle that. Of course, if Aaron Hill doesn't boot a gimme double play ball, the Yanks probably lose and I start the year like a whiny douche asking what the hell is wrong with this supposed uber offense (speaking of that, you see the "1,000 Run Tigers" get shut out by the Royals yesterday?) Oh yeah, as you'll learn throughout the year, I'm a horrible person, so this quote from the AP game recap made me chuckle:
"Joba Chamberlain struck out two in a hitless eighth to the delight of his polio-stricken father, Harlan, who attended the game and cheered from his motorized scooter."

All right, shifting from the bliss of an Opening Day victory, it's time to ignore the old "It's only April" talk and cue up the Allman Brothers - Game 2 was all about 2008 Whipping Boy Nominee (and surefire winner...shhh...it's rigged) Mike Mussina. It's no secret Mussina has been in serious decline in recent years, but I don't know if I can take a full year of 5IP, 8H, 3ER performances (on a "good" night). As Moral Orel Hershiser pointed out last night, Mussina rarely ever gets swings and misses, thus throwing way too many of his now below average fastballs and breaking pitches. I mean, Jesus Christ, I could've thrown a better pitch to Vernon Wells than the one Moose delivered on a platter...a platter that was deposited in roughly 0.8 seconds in left. Hey, Joe Girardi, I strenuously object (that's how it works right...I object, and then I strenuously object?)...
"Mike made some quality pitches. I was happy with what I saw," manager Joe Girardi said. "I'll take that outing from him anytime."

It was bad enough having to endure the Mussina outing last night, but on top of that, you lose to A.J. Burnett, a guy who has missed more games in the last three years than a blind usher? Come on. At least Aaron Hill once again tried to make it interesting, but to no avail.

Well, we're only two games in...so maybe I should just stop now. Lord knows I'm going to run out of nonsensical shit to say in a few weeks. Plus, I am dying to see what Nick has to say about his Phils less than stellar start.