Thursday, August 06, 2009

Hate Paper Doll

Game 106 - Red Sox

Rays 6, Red Sox 4
Record: 62-44

With apologies to one of the great SportsCenter commercials of all time, I offer the following two-sentence recap of last night's game, and by extension the Sox' mini-series with the Rays: Did you see it, Jack? They sucked.

And now they get to go into Yankee Stadium (New and Improved! Same Mouth-Breathing Fans, More Homeruns!) limping both figuratively and literally. Jason Bay, questionable. J.D. Drew, marginally ambulatory. Mike Lowell, carried around the bases by DeMarlo Hale. Josh Reddick, prone to spontaneous nosebleeds (also, back in the minors). John Smoltz, old (and starting today! Huzzah!).

But if they win tonight to extend their 2009 record against the Yankees to 9-0, well, that's a mindfuck of a different (pin) stripe for the New Yorkers. Here's where the MLC script says I go all contrarian, say something about positivity or targets, or balls. Problem is, I don't believe it right now. The Yankees are the big stack, and the Sox are pushing chips around trying to stay in the game. I'd be happier than Joba Chamberlain's mom in a meth den with a split this weekend. Anything more is way too much to ask.

7 comments:

rob said...

sadly, i think it's fair to say that the john smoltz experiment is a failure.

rob said...

i think chien-ming wang's peeps are mocking me.

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