I Thought Clowns Were Supposed to be Funny

Games 79 through 83 - Mets

Mets 7, Marlins 6
Marlins 7, Mets 3
Marlins 3, Mets 0
Mets 5, Nationals 2
Nationals 3, Mets 2
Record: 41-42

Well, then. In a little-known corollary of a lesser-known rule of Major League Baseball, any 2005 squad that loses to a team with Carlos Baerga batting clean-up is deemed instantly ineligible for that year's World Series. So there it went. I mean, seriously, Carlos Baerga???

The Mets, who themselves missed the (dollhouse-sized) window on Baerga by a few years kicked him to the curb as relative refuse seven years ago, and I'm not sure they were wrong. They were, of course, wrong to trade for him and Alvaro Espinoza -- who led the league only in geeky appearance -- and give up Jeff (2005 NL All-Star) Kent and fellow journeyman Jose Vizcaino. But if Baerga represents the best good chance the Nats had at clean-up/1B against Pedro, the Mets had to be salivating. And Pedro did indeed shut him down.

The problem was, of course, that both guys named Carlos B. went 0-for-4. When the guy whose best days were pre-strike takes the collar, the Nats can find another way to win. When the guy whose best days were supposed be right about now gets stymied, the Mets seem to flounder around him. Cameron, Piazza, and the Mets' own power-slugging first baseman, Chris Woodward, also went hitless -- the four of them were a combined 0-for-15 with seven strikeouts. And there's your rally-killing contingent, meaning five of the eight hits were scattered over eight innings and the other three weren't enough of a ninth-inning surge to make the difference.

Now, Esteban Loaiza is actually a good pitcher, but a few months ago he was on the scrap heap after bombing out with the Bombers last fall, and leave it to the Mets to further rehabilitate a down-on-his-luck starter. All season long they've been handcuffed by two-bit losers, and while I might know how frustrating that feels, I was assured by the City of Virginia Beach that those records would be expunged on my 18th birthday. And that's all I have to say about that.

On a trivial (meaning trifling, not meaning info-worthy) note, Carlos Baerga was a member of the 2002 Red Sox along with Brian Daubach and Jose Offerman, each of whom pinch-hit in utter vain for the Mets last night. How that Sox team won 93 games is simply beyond me.

Tom Glavine goes against Livan Hernandez tonight. If you look closely, there is already a vaguely penciled "L" in the Mets' schedule there. You can dredge up a wee drop of hope knowing that Glavine's few strong starts have come against the weakest-hitting teams, and the pesky Nats qualify. I'm just curious to see Shane Mack, Travis Fryman, or whatever mid-grade player of yesteryesteryesteryear the Nationals throw out in the 4-spot en route to another one-run win.

Mid-Year Review to come soon. (I won't be comparing the New York Mets to any kind of woman for fear of losing all interest in females.) For now, I'll leave you with a pair of transmissions from my brother-in-law Patrick, who made me laugh:

It will be nice to take 3 out 4 from the Nats, sweep the Pirates going into the
break, and be 46-42. I know that is a lot to wish for, but not
unrealistic.

and cry, or at least wince:

How psyched do you think the Mets are to have to pay Piazza 50k, Pedro 50k, and
Beltran 100k because they made the All Star team?

As I told him, Pedro's spot was well-earned (does he give back the bonus if he refuses to play?), but the other two were Exhibits QQ and RR why the fans are asking to have their voting privileges stripped.