Best Laid Plans

Game 88 - Red Sox

Yankees at Sox (in progress)

My wife and kids are out of town for the week. I know what you're thinking, and yes, I am living a bachelor dream. If by dream you mean grilled cheese sandwiches, laundry strewn about carelessly, and copious masturbation. Ok, I lied about one of those things - I'm actually a decent cook.

Temporarily free, I thought I'd let it all hang out...by liveblogging tonight's Sox/Yanks game. A series of late crises at work followed by a run on my local supermarket which caused 8-deep lines at the checkout, topped off by a malfunctioning grill puts me in front of my keyboard just in time...to watch Gary Sheffield lead off the top of the 5th with a solo homer to make the score, 5-4, Sox.

The good guys spotted Bronson Arroyo a 4-0 lead in the bottom of the 1st, but he's spent the rest of the game trying to give it back. Arroyo's been wild in the zone all night, missing his spots in just the right place to find the fat part of Yankee bats. Thankfully, Mike Mussina's just been wild.

Musical interlude - Barry White's I'm Gonna Love You Just a Little More, Baby just hit the iPod, playing in shuffle mode. Aw yeah, sugar. Right in time for Big Papi to make sweet love to this Mussina offering...or whiff.

6-pitch 5th for Mussina. I need a new theme song.

Mike Myers and newly acquired Chad Bradford are warming together in the bullpen. This needs to be handled delicately, as the chances for a season-ending knuckle-collision are extremely high.

Silly good play by Bill Mueller to stop Derek Jeter grounder. Silly bad throw by Mueller in combination with a hideous full-body contortion by Kevin Millar to get out of the way instead of blocking the throw hands the Yankees the game-tying run. Millar, German for Designated for Assignment.

Manny! So nonchalant, but just turned in his 2nd fine defensive play of the evening. How 'bout leading off the bottom of the 6th with a go-ahead longball?

'Course, that would be easier if he hadn't already batted in the 5th. DFA leads off the 6th. Robinson Cano covers 2nd on the pitch, even though no runner was on - DFA takes advantage with a roller through the vacated spot.

Now it's Eeyore's turn to fulfill his destiny - 1st and 3rd, 1 out. I smell a strikeout. Sigh. That is simply too easy.

Mussina vs. Damon. Full count, 2 on, 2 out. Annnnnd...Johnny watches strike 3 sail by harmlessly. Attakid. Fuck.

2 mildly interesting developments in the top of the 7th: Chad Bradford makes his Sox debut after coming over from the A's for Jay Payton and Alan Embree stole Matt Clement's facial hair. Also, Bradford throws to first the same way he pitches - DFA's brain nearly exploded.

And this is where I welcome Bradford to the Nation by saying, "Throw a fucking strike, assmonkey."

Trotman! Saved Embree's goofy-tufted ass with a nice catch, retreating to the wall in right to glove Matsui's drive.

It's Tanyon Sturtze, dammit. Swing the bat, Edgar.

Papi makes me happi! Tanyon showing his Sturtzeness. 6-5, Sox.

How long 'til Schilling makes his debut as relief ace? And will his ego fit through the clubhouse door if he slams the door shut? Or, alternately, Embree could simply piss the lead right away. With help from Timlin, game tied at 6.

Schilling warming. DFA walking. Beer flowing like wine. Nonsense flocking to this blog like the salmon to Capistrano.

Yankee-killer Billy Mueller has a nice ring to it. 3 unassisted, not so much.

Fenway's going bonkers as Schilling enters to pitch the top of the 9th. Gotta admit that I'm a little bit giddy. He might throw his first pitch over the backstop.

Menacing is the first word that comes to mind when I look at Gary Sheffield at the plate. Doubles off the wall to lead off the 9th. 2 doubles and a homer tonight for Sheffield. And now A-Rod. I don't like this movie. Nor the 2-run homer A-Rod just cranked to center. The Schilling Experiment is off to a Hindenberg-esque start.

Liveblogging, as I recall now, is an exercise in crappy writing and poor results for the Sox. My work here is done, as are the Sox.