Fork, Meet Eye

Does anyone at ESPN actually listen with a critical ear to any of their Major League Baseball broadcasts? It's bad enough tonight that the Sox have stranded multiple prime scoring opportunities against the Yanks, and trail 2-1 in the 5th, but my blood pressure's taken much more of a beating from Rick Sutcliffe's assault on logic. To be sure, he's ballwashed the Sox and Yanks equally - a nice departure from years past. Consider, though, this gem - delivered while Chris Berman nodded and clucked in perfect time:

• Derek Jeter is a winner, and here's the proof: Jeter's never missed a postseason in his career, while Mickey Mantle missed 6 in 18 years, Lou Gehrig missed 7 in 17 years, and Babe Ruth missed 8 in his career. Makes sense, sure. Except for the fact that 300% more playoff spots were available to Jeter's teams every fucking year of his career. I damn well bet (I could look it up, but c'mon, that's not why you come here) that all of those legends would have compared with Jeter's stats had wild card playoff spots been available in their lifetimes. Lies, damn lies, and statistics.

And the 2-run bomb Schilling just gave up to Giambi doesn't help. Neither does that one to Bernie Williams' corpse. Fuck.

Hey! First "fuck" of the season. Guess the honeymoon's over.